Unicorn Salute!

April 21, 2017

I started a whole new blog category for all the fun things I find and see that I love.  I love them because they are beautiful or because they make me laugh.  some things are Items I buy and others are little treasures the internet brings me because I spend way too much time online researching weird stuff (writer occupational hazard).

Today's entry has definitely been entered for SHEER awkward giggles.  I give you...

THE HANDICORN!

Take a moment to take this in.  It's a series of tiny finger puppets that

 

"Your hand is going to look majestic posed on a rainbow!"

To which I tip my hat to everyone I've ever met who said, "you know I wished my hand looked majestic posed on a rainbow, but damn I don't have a unicorn costume for my digits!"

 

But the best part of this jewel actually ISN'T that it's a unicorn for your hand, it's the guy who gave it a 1 star rating.  His excuse for that low ball rating was exactly, "Not what I was expecting :/".  

...Dude...  

It's a UNICORN FOR YOUR HAND.  What exactly were you expecting here?  And as if this thing wasn't the end all be off of ridiculous hilarity, there's MORE!

For just a few dollars more you can have an ACTUAL Unicornucopia of awesome with the Handicorn and some UNICORN POOP CANDY! 

 

Ya'll, I can't even.

The Description for this one even surpasses the first. 

  • Tired of your boring old hand? This set of finger puppets takes your humdrum human hand and transforms it into a majestic Unicorn in seconds.

  • Horn up! We all have a little in us so shout it out

  • A Unicorn is somebody who knows they're fabulous and isn't afraid to show it.

I'm gonna level with you.  I've never ever ONCE looked at my hand, or any part of my body, and thought, "I'm tired of you, I wish you were a unicorn with candy poop." But apparently it's selling enough to get not one but MULTIPLE 5 star ratings.  The best of which calls this jewel an excellent multi-generational gift?

wait.

what.

MULTI-GENERATIONAL?

 

I have no clue.

But I do know this.  Thanks to the genius of strategic product placement I now have a way to respond to everyone who told me that Starbucks Unicorn Frappe was diabetes in a cup. Cause I have a kid with ACTUAL diabetes and your jokes are dumb.

 

I'm gonna buy me a Handicorn and give them a UNICORN SALUTE!

 

SO Toss back some fruity Unicorn Poop Candy Disks while you prance about your desk, car or tub. Who cares if someone is watching? Your hand is now actually a Unicorn. ..own it. 

 

 

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