To the mom who offered.


We've only known each other a little over a year, but our lives have become entangled in familiarity and commonality as our children have embraced one another like old buddies. We've done school projects, field trips, play dates, lunches, parties and more together. You've seen me handle my medically complex child and his dueling auto-immune issues in nearly every setting. Mealtimes, bad weather, hard hours of play, good days, bad days, even a few scary moments. More than that, you've heard me share stories of times in between....late nights, long nights, ER runs, dumpster fires, etc. You knew...on some level...what it was like for me.

And still you offered.

You offered to pick up my rowdy crew and take them to a school outing for several hours including a packed lunch. I had expressed we couldn't attend because other life priorities had to come first and I couldn't split my time. You asked again if you could help out. I hesitated....my mom worry swung into action. Most people would have stopped there....but you gently pressed past my worry and embraced me down in the pit I was sinking into.

You were patient and kind and understanding. I inwardly panicked, my anxiety building to think of my kids independence level and the distractions and all the possible things that could possibly come up. My mouth obeyed my fears and said I didn't think it could work. You understood. You did not judge.

You were encouraging that you not only COULD handle anything...but you WANTED to do this for me. For him. You did not run from my anxiety, or call me a helicopter mom, but rather you embraced my concerns as valid and reassured me that I could have ANY protections in place I needed....and that'd you be a virtual extension of me via phone, text, facetime, etc. You did NOT disappoint.

You texted, you checked in, you called at lunch time, you reassured me at every step even when I hadn't even had a chance to ask yet. I honestly never had TIME to worry about my kid, because you were literally reassuring me every step of the way just by texting periodic updates. You showcased a diligence I could NOT have explained that i needed. You made it work...just as promised. And it went more smoothly than I could have hoped for.

As a mom of a complex Type 1 Diabetic, I don't have words to describe what a gift you have given me. THANK YOU seems pale in comparison....but the gushing of hugs and flowers and small stars named in your honor feels a little extra, though to be clear SO deserved. Perhaps, as you are often a practical mom like me, a list is best to help you see what an extraordinary gift you gave me.

Here's a list of what I accomplished in the short three hours you had my children:

  1. Took a moment to journal and enjoy a quiet cup of coffee.

  2. Called my mom for a leisurely chat.

  3. Watered my plants that were nearly dead.

  4. Dusted my window sills because #damn

  5. Completed two loads of laundry

  6. Baked cookies for a neighbor.

  7. Cleaned my living room.

  8. Reorganized my schoolroom.

  9. Supervised the crew of handymen who did some work around my house that was badly needed but always shuffled to "later".

  10. Supervised the stair lift company that installed much needed handicap services for my much-loved aunt who is coming to visit.

  11. Made additional handiplans to care for her...and my mother...when they arrive next week.

  12. ​Ate a lunch, that I fixed for myself (without also making three little lunches for others that had to be weighed, measured, counted, dosed for, etc.)

  13. Drank Water. (because I had time to remember I should)

  14. Listened to Nirvana, Pearl Jam, RHCP, and the other awesome and mildly inappropriate music of my youth with the windows opened and a breeze blowing as if I truly was a COOL mom for a hot-second.

  15. Showered/hair/make-up/dressed, without interruption of beeping and alarms and the constant need to CHECK my phone to WARD OFF beeping/alarms/etc..

  16. Let my child be away from me or his dad or the occasional out-of-state grandparent, for the first time, in literally 5 years. With his friends. Like a normal nearly 10 year old. Doing life.

You, my friend, are an amazement, a wonder, an angel. Your small effort made....was so powerful. In one simple act of kindness you did more than words can truly express.

HE came home, told me all about his class, and asked for a snack on his way to his room. He was happily oblivious to ANY of my concerns or the amount of effort that you put in behind the scenes on his behalf. My Goodness....he was a kid! And !....I was able to breathe, to care for others without feeling pulled or drained, and to just BE with a moments peace.

So, my unsung mom-friend-hero, I hope this post goes WILDLY viral, so that I can share this small act of kindness with the whole world. So that others may be as brave, as kind, as encouraging, as willing for other medical moms out there. It can take a bit of finagling at times, some training, some communication, some planning, some encouragement and maybe some patience and cajoling, but this moment given....even as small as three small hours....was utterly life-giving to me and could be just as much so to another mom in need. My prayer is that maybe a few other moms can have this gift to embrace their grunge-rock, silent showers, quiet meal, and life in peace.

AMAZON https://amzn.to/2GhMpjW

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