It's that time of year again....
no wait....I homeschool
It's THAT time of year again...
Weird looks of people that say, "why are you at the grocery store in the middle of the day?" and the random questions like, "when do you ever get a break".
Awwww yes. The lovingly judgey questions from passerby's to our life who marvel at my fortitude but also stare in shock-and-awe. So while I'm not even gonna attempt to make my kids a sandwich in the molecular shape of oxygen for their lunches (there's the fridge and some peanut butter, boys. Go with God!) I WILL craft this pithy list of humorous ways all homeschool moms can address those nagging questions we all get when public school begins and we....well, let's just own this ladies, we freshen up our PJ's and carry on with our daily.
You're STILL doing that? You mean raising my kids the way I believe, YES...it's WEIRD how committed I am to this, ammiright?!?
What grade are they in? Eleventeen! (bonus points if your kids LEGIT think this is their grade, and they answer it with enthusiasm and a high-five).
How do you make friends? Construction Paper and Glue...and one time a mummified chicken
but we don't like to mention Fred around the little ones...his dinner demise was unfortunate.
Does the state ALLOW that? You know, I don't know. Why don't you look that up and get back to me!
How do you get anything done? Well I'm always more productive on days I don't get grilled by random people. But enough about me....let's talk about you.
I could NEVER homeschool my kids! Well I could never be a competition-level body-builder.
This is a fun game! What else can you NOT do?!? (bonus points if you pull up a chair and sit and wait for them to respond).
Don't you worry they'll be socially awkward? You mean more awkward than a complete stranger asking probing questions in the bread aisle about someone's educational choices, or like some other totally different level of awkward I have yet to encounter?
Sooooo, what about socialization? Well we focus on book-learning in our home. And to learn how to make wild assumptions about random people in public, like a bunch of judgy turds, I bring them HERE! (bonus points if you can say that in such a chipper way that they actually smile and agree with you before it sinks in).
You must be SO organized. Yes...Yes I am. I am legit ORGANIZED in every facet of my life. Completely disregard the state of my car, kitchen, or that half-dressed mongrel-child dangling from the ceiling behind you....seriously.....look. away.
Don't you ever get a break? Well that's why I'm here, Do you mind watching them for an hour or so?
MAKE IT A GREAT YEAR!
Or...whatever....buy some pencils and just try to keep your head above water. ;-) high-five! Be a Shark. Your SUPER GREAT!
Hope you enjoyed my little tongue-in-cheek post. Stay-tuned for more on my rants whenever I get around to posting them. I discuss writing, blogging, homeschooling, parenting, raising a T1D kiddo and more. You can follow my social links below and DON'T MISS OUT on picking up my latest book from Amazon today. HELP A MAMA OUT YA'LL!
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