My Deadpool Chair
Lo and behold I find myself blessed to not only GET to write for a living, but we finally FINALLY get to live in a house where I have my own space to do it in. GOOD BYE sharing a laptop on a schoolroom desk with a toddler shoving cheerios in the disk drive and HELLO private - descent - respectable office.
So I buy a flaming red desk. As one does. Because fire engines and Chinese dragons fuel my creativity and I found a deal and splurged. I earned it so shut your face, judgey turds.
One day whilst herding 3 rowdy boys and two flatbed carts through Costco my eldest son stumbles across this red chair on display and goes full on adorable nuts right there in the middle of the industrial-sized aisles. Being that at the time he was nearly 9, these moments of childhood excitement were few and far between in our household.
(ps - my kids are entirely too young to watch the deadpool movies and I've never actually sat on a superhero's face.)
So of course, being the good mom I am, I completely ignore him and try to redirect that freckle-faced ball of spaz back to the over crowded check-out. Alas, my tiny dictator recruited his tiny henchmen and suddenly there was a full on ginger coup.
Fine. We're never getting the f*ck out of this store anyway. Let's just full-stop and all take a spin on the swiveling distraction.
My three boys go unanimously ga-ga over this bright red chair. "mommy your chair hurts your back," they said, "and it's your favorite color," they added. The clincher was my littlest who proclaimed I could write even better if my chair was bright red. So in a moment of exhausted mommy weakness I caved to tyrannical sweetness and made room for this big-box chair on our flatbed full of 24 dozen eggs.
I bring it home and assemble it, genuinely excited to have a new chair since mine was DECADES old. Once assembled, the kids take turns hurling my old chair down the hill into the ditch before finally tossing it in a nearby dumpster. Only then did I return to my office and find my eldest child mischievously giggling that he tricked me into buying a Marvel Comic chair. He was so proud to sneak his world into my space. With a mix of pride and horror I laughed as he LOUDLY declared I would forever be sitting on Deadpool's face.